Gud mornin dyur subjekz. Won iz just rekuvrin from the aftur efektz ov wonz burfday party. Not the hufishul burfday wen won havz got tu giv a speetsh but wonz propur burfday. Did yoo orl hyur the bum! bum! bum ov the kaninz fyrin from orl the kasilz? It woz kwiet spektakulur but orfly noyzy. Wonz pur yurz.
Won iz not gowin tu riet for long bekoz won iz tyurd, az won sed befaw. An wonz huzbun wontz won tu switsh the lietz owt. So won wil be breef.
Meny fankz tu orl ov yoo wot sendid won kardziz and wotnot. It iz not yoozhyul tu send telygramz TU the Kween but won hopreeshyaytid the emaylz wot won got. Wonz huzbun let won hav furst biet at the karit topz an the kabij as a speshil treet. Yoo kud see he woz fiendin it hard tu kontayn himzself, tho an he dievdid in prity kwikly. He orlso givd won a shok!
Slaev had been upsterz. She sed she woz wurkin. Yeh, riet. Enywae, she mustuv got tu hot koz she woz kliemin down the sterz wif hur jumpur in hur hand insted ov wairin it. Won wishiz she wudint du that. It iz kwiet diskonsurtin inuf tu hav tu sher a hows wif a hyoomin, but havin won wot kypz taykin hur fur orf iz just not tu be toluraytid. Enywae, at the botim ov the sterz, she fru hur jumpur ontu the bak ov the sowfur. Wonz pur huzbun got the friet ov himz lief an he jumptid owt ov the forij trae at the speed ov liet an ran rownd the sofur tu wer won woz snoozin. For a owld bun he karnt harf muv! Won woz roodly awaykind an had tu leep up an run rownd tu the uvur sied ov the sowfur and ther was the slaev in hur undyz! Kuvur wonz yz!Orf wif hur hed! An on wif hur jumpur! An yoo now wot, subjekz, fru the hopologyz to wonz huzbun she woz lafin! Wota chyk! She sed it luktid funy, won buny bot dishopeerin rownd won sied ov the sowfur an a difrint buny hed hopeerin rownd the uvur.
Lief in the doghows!